i may or may not be watching the land before time
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
home. puking in laundry basket.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
