So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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