Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
oh god was she eating orange peels again
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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