does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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