stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
