U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
