Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
