can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
