I think im going to throw up on grandma
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
