man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
