I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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