My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
