I love black thongs
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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