happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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