I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
