ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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