This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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