I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Boobs are out for the taking
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
