i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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