We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
