member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
