My brain says no but my pants say off.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I am available for nakedness
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
