He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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