I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
