What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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