so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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