Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
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hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
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You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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