dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I forgot wine drunk hurts
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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