Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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