He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
