with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
