so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
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you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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