You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
