if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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