I just saw a hot homeless man
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
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