Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
