Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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