I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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