i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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