Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
