six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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