I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
too bad you live with your parents still
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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