you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
