Are we in a gay sports bar?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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