there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
