mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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