I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
