well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
