I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Drunk is not a location!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
