And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Drunk is a universal language darling
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