Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
