ugly people sure do ruin things
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.