operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.