You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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