OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
