I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
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i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
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I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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