The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
